We watched a family movie recently called
"Mom's Night Out" which was really funny and good..the movie is about a mom who
wonders if she is 'enough' - and at the end of the movie, two statements are
made that sum up so well what I feel God has been showing me this past year of
my life..
The two thoughts are basically:
My life does not have to
change for me to be happy.
I am not a failure; God says I am enough, even
perfect.
These two thoughts are so profound to me, and I feel like they
are such revelations deep in my heart. I can really be happy right now, no
matter what life looks like at this moment. And I am really okay/enough right
now, no matter what I am like at this moment. I don't have to wait till things
change in order to be happy - happiness is mine now. And I don't have to wait
till I change to be okay/enough - I am fine right now. God is fine with me and
my life right now, and so I can be as well!
These two truths have given
me such peace and joy in the last several months. I have had a newfound love of
life growing inside of me, a cherishing of the simple things like my daughter's
smile or long walks in the woods. I have seen so suddenly the beauty, the wild
deliciousness, the precious value of this life we have here on earth, every
breath something to be savored, every sunrise and sunset something to be
enjoyed, every laugh with a family member something to be cherished. I have
become so grateful for this life and is seems so wonderful, even in the midst of
the chaos that sometimes occurs in my circumstances.
And I have been so
much more 'okay' with ME lately..so much more willing to give myself a break, to
let myself feel what I really feel, even if it is a so-called 'unacceptable'
emotion like anger, doubt, bitterness, or frustration. I have allowed my soul
to voice questions and struggles, allowed myself to be real, to be imperfect, to
be messy. And yet I feel more whole, settled, grounded, and at peace than
ever! It seems every time I allow a part of me that is hurting to express that
hurt feeling, the feeling seems to be soothed somehow and calm down..and work
itself out naturally without any effort..almost as if some part of me that was
hurting just wanted to be noticed, heard, loved and validated..allowed to
express its feelings and be loved and embraced in the midst of them..and then
that part seems to be more okay, calmer, quieted down inside. It is almost like
the hurting parts are like a little child crying, and that little one calms down
as it is held, listened to, allowed to share its hurts. Every part of me
deserves love, validation, acceptance and understanding. Every part of me
deserves pampering, kindness, help and support. Every part of me is made by God
and special!
I just wanted to share these two wonderful thoughts. I am
so thankful and grateful for this wonderful life we all are sharing together
here on this planet as children of God. I love each of you and am so thankful
to have you as my brothers and sisters in this great family!
- Under the Waterfall
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