Communicating Feelings

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. --Psalm 139: 23, 24


Very few couples ever learn to communicate on the important level of how they feel.Most people live out of feelings, which should be communicated even if they are not based on fact.However, when beginning to describe how they feel, people often get bombarded with facts from their spouses intended to discredit what was said. It is interesting to watch the confrontation of a carnal person. First, he tries denial:  "I did not do it!" Second, there is the rationalization of his/her behavior: "I had to do it." Then comes the accusation: "You made me do it," or, "You have done the same thing yourself." None of this makes for great conversation that goes anywhere. The spiritual man does none of the above when confronted, neither immediately accepting (unless conviction from God previously existed) nor immediately rejecting the claims, but laying his heart before God and letting God probe. If what was said is true, then there is repentance.

           
Let others tell you how they feel. You may be hearing only false feelings, but a spiritual response from you will help reveal this. Get in the other person’s shoes and understand the feelings and why they might be occurring, without responding in a manner calculated to defend yourself. This will help both of you move past those feelings to the Truth, Christ.


Psalm 139:23-24 are a testimony of the great King David’s understanding of himself versus God’s knowledge of him.  And one thing that shows is that O.T. Believers did not possess the Holy Spirit’s indwelling…therefore the “uh-huh” and “unh-uh” He gives today’s Believers were not available to David.  So David would wisely ask God to reveal and lead him as needed.  Today, we have HIM inside us to do such, most often whether we ask or not, although it is never “bad” to ask God for His wisdom, His insights, His awareness of any of our “offensive ways,” and His leadership.


Michael shows us this translates to the disaster of carnal Christians not being able to (or, not wanting to) communicate their feelings when a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit’s nudging (and desire to walk with His involvement) could lead to less tension and better communication.


Interestingly, the Greek word for “communicate” in the New Testament is koinoneo, meaning “share with.”  Exactly what Michael is saying here!  Share with each other our feelings, not just facts.  And especially not arguments!