When it comes to how we relate to people whose questionable actions trouble us, perhaps we should use the more nuanced idea of careful NON-APPROVAL rather than the destructive concept of hasty and hostile DISAPPROVAL.
When our hearts spew disapproval, it becomes too easy to harshly judge, quickly condemn and recklessly release toxic negativity toward a person or situation. So many have been crushed by disapproving looks, disapproving tones, and disapproving actions. Sadly, many Christians are better known for their quick abandonment and malicious resentment than for their steadfast friendship. And this "disapproval" always terminates relationship, releases hate, and paralyzes the situation with unrighteous judgment.
Jesus didn't approve (i.e. NON-approval) of the woman's adultery in John 8, but He didn't DIS-approve of her either. And this made all the difference. He was then empowered to save her out of the deadly situation because He didn't enter into toxic "disapproval-mode." He specifically told her, "I do not condemn you: go and sin no more." (v. 11). Jesus practicing NON-APPROVAL (rather than DISAPPROVAL) allowed Him to stay connected to the situation and to tether it to the mercies and deliverances of God.
Disapproval hardens us to become part of the problem. But, non-approval softens our edge and keeps us involved in the solution. We can remain silent without spewing condemnation. We can remain calm without having to curse the men who God still richly loves. And, we can remain available to help those who know NOT what they do. Sure, we don't need to approve evil, but neither do we need to disapprove misled men who bear the precious image of God.
- Richard Murray
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