Without Trust We Have Nothing

Was awakened in the middle of the night again last night.  I got some good stuff from Papa.

Thank you, Father, for the wonderful life-giving truth that You are willing to share with me, at the time that my mind seems uncluttered enough to get it.

It's no wonder You work so hard to show Your trustworthiness to me.  Last night I heard it said that "intimacy is impossible without trust."  The same holds true in human relationships.

I sense that You are consistently proving to me how I can trust You, in every circumstance.  So far they've almost all been good.  But, I can hope that the day in which my circumstance turns bad, that the trust I am learning will hold me strong.

You are helping me to gain an understanding that life, and my relationships, is not all about me… at all.    Even those relationships closest to me.  I believe You are showing me, a glimpse-at-a time, the bigger picture to which I belong.  My, how it changes my perspective to know that I am not here just for my own comfort and enjoyment.  And yet, most will spend their entire life down here pursuing just that.

It's not about my comfort level… never has been.

You supplied ultimate satisfaction in the Garden of Eden, and it included walking with You daily.  Interaction with You.  From the moment we sinned, our shame has led us to try to provide for ourselves at every turn.  We try to find or provide our own satisfaction and fulfillment in every way possible, except in You.

Once the trust was broken, we turned from You.  Not vice versa.  We as a people have lived under the shameful assumption that You were angry with us.  The relationship was broken.  The trust was broken.  And, we've been trying to do it on our own ever since.  We haven't known You.  We've been too busy hiding in our shame.

When love isn't about me, it's amazing how freed up it can allow me to become… to love those who are still enslaved to their shame.  I was reminded of the recent love lesson taught me, using the scenario with my cat who scratched me, only to have me turn around and kiss and love on him.  That's the kind of love I know You're producing in me.  It's the ability to sincerely love those who emotionally claw at me.

Lastly, I was made aware that not only did Jesus live his earthly life that way (loving those who were unlovely toward Him), but that, indeed, YOU have been living with your children treating You that way, too.  And, still You have loved.  It has not swayed You.  It has very much been a one-way street with us.  Even during those times when our heart is toward You, we often have still had eyes on self.

It amazes me, on any given day, how much I can be preoccupied with me… when the picture is sooo much bigger.

Wish I could write more, but that's the gist of the thoughts that kept me awake during the night.  It was beautiful!  For now, I have to get ready to receive some of those relationships here in my home tomorrow.

Thank you, Father, for not giving up on me.

- Under the Waterfall