Life is a strange and wonderful thing. But
most things that occupy us moment from moment day to day in the grand scheme of
things aren’t things that really
matter; I mean they do, but when confronted with the real reality of our own
mortality so many of the things that seem so pressing to us in the moment simply
melt away and the real things that matter rise to the fore. I experienced this
when I was diagnosed with my typically (and statistically) incurable cancer
(DSRCT) back in late 2009.
I was just thinking about all of this tonight; life (as James says) is indeed
but a vapor. If this is the case, if the world as we know it, as Paul says, is
passing away then how we ought to live as Peter ponders? When I thought I was
going to die (from my cancer) everything changed. I went into a strange world
unbeknownst to me prior; it was a world full of anxiety (so overwhelmingly so
that it went beyond a feeling of anxiety … if that makes sense), fear (I didn’t
want to die, especially not the death of the type of cancer I had), darkness
(there was major spiritual warfare that happened, an oppression that filled my
atmosphere, at points). But, of course, there was much ministry and grace from
God in Christ by the Holy Spirit that was always present; he ministered in
miraculous ways (one of those ways being realized now … I am alive and still
cancer free after 5 years).
But I wasn’t really intending on writing about my cancer, even if it is
relevant to what I want to say, and it is. I was just thinking though about
perspective. We get so lost in our daily circumstances, and in the drama of
everyday life (whether that be at work, school, play, etc.), and what is really
important (Jesus) get’s lost; the great hope we have as Christians gets squashed
by our most immediate pursuits (which usually involves some sort of
self-promotion). And yet there will be that moment for you and I alike where all
of the drama of our daily lives (the stuff that seems so important, so pressing
right now) will be confronted with what really matters; life itself, and life
itself in Christ.
When you think you are most probably going to die (like I did) everything
narrows. The hopes that motivated and drove you (all in the future) get cut off,
and your future becomes limited to one day at a time. When you lose horizontal
hope in the things and pursuits of this world and this life, the future becomes
a vertical affair; you begin to look to the heavens for your future, for your
hope. You begin to cast your vision on God in Christ, and trust him each day to
be your future for that day; when you have the sentence of death upon you you no
longer (as a Christian) trust in yourself but in the One you know raises the
dead.
I’ve been getting overwhelmed by my most immediate circumstances, and I sense
that the enemy has been trying to rob me of the real reality and hope that I
have in Jesus Christ. Perspective from the center of God’s life in Christ is so
important to participate and live in and from; it is hard to overstate this! I
need to be less like Israel (remember them in Exodus etc.), and more like Jesus
(as I live from him). I need to remember the perspective that came from my
cancer diagnosis, or at least that that diagnosis did as it caused me to throw
myself on God’s mercy. I don’t want to forget; I don’t want to let other people
(like at work or elsewhere) impose their un-belief or un-perspective upon me
(and this is a constant battle: to live in a world that is structured by
unbelief and self-worship). We are all going to have that day of perspective,
let’s live that way.
- Bobby Grow
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