by Allison Brown
Every journey has those times when the
lights seem to go out. We have a sense
of the space around us, but the details of “when”, “how” and “what” elude
us. God is present to our faith, but not
to our feelings and we bump around searching for a Light switch that seems to
have been moved.
Several years ago, I was in such a
time. There was an awareness of God’s
permission and grace, but it was vague and elusive. My brain was thrashing about trying to make
sense of nonsense, when an image suddenly came to mind.
It was a picture that was familiar; a
stunning black and white image of “The Monolith: The Face of Half Dome”, by
Ansel Adams. Long, long, ago, my first
job in Yosemite was working daily with these photographs, so it was like
remembering an old friend; an old friend whose story I’ve always loved.
As I was putting The Monolith away one day,
a long-time assistant to this master asked me, “Do you know how he did
it?” I didn’t – but I could tell that it
would be a tale worth hearing, so we poured some coffee and sat down by the
gallery fireplace.
In 1929, photography was still a relatively
young art form. Ansel was just beginning
to explore its possibilities but he was stymied by the challenge of
photographing Yosemite’s iconic views in black and white. The primary obstacle was that the gray value
of blue sky and that of granite are almost identical. In color, they contrast each other
magnificently. In black and white, they
blend together. So how could he capture on film what he saw with his eyes?
He decided to take a picture that existed
only in his mind, by doing things that didn’t seem to make sense.
Ansel put a red filter on the camera to turn
the blue sky to black. He used exposures
that didn’t make sense… until he got to the darkroom. There, in the hands of the master, what he
saw in his mind began to emerge on the paper where others could see it too.
As I remembered that afternoon, I
smiled. Here I was, frantically
searching for a light switch, that if found, would stop a necessary process of
development in my life. All my
expectations as to how God should work were being broken. Meanwhile, He was
soaking me in the encounters needed to bring out the image of me that I had yet
to see.
The reality of who we really are already
exists in the Father’s heart and in the Mind of Christ. I was discovering that my role was to be
still and know that in the Master’s care, He had the creativity, passion and
vision to bring me to life.
He wanted me to fall in love with the
process of being in His hands; to trust Him in the dark so we could overcome
the obstacles that would become evident in the light.
How often had I rushed His process,
settling for a basic image when a masterpiece was on offer? How many times had I protested that He wasn’t
doing it right? And what patience and kindness
He had shown when I panicked and ran for the light switch, bringing His current
development to a halt. He graciously
waited to turn it off again and start the process anew, asking me only to be
still and let Him finish.
A copy of The Monolith hangs in my
office. It reminds me daily to “Be
still, and know that He is God”. He is
the creative Master with an image of my identity that He wants to imagine with
me. The process takes time. The development of who I really am requires
my cooperation, but rests with His expertise. In stillness, in actively soaking
in His true nature, by remaining in faith and patience, the bigger picture of
my life to becomes evident.
What is the process of development that God
is currently soaking you in? Does the
outcome seem unclear or delayed? Be at
rest. Be still and listen for Him to
whisper who He really is and who you really are. It is the place where you will behold the
image that He sees and in the process, find that you are becoming like it.
- Allison Brown
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