To Be (Offended) or Not to Be

So, let's talk about offense.  It's interesting that I will let it keep me from relationship with another.  Yet, I believe as Father showed me that, were that true, in the case of my relationship with Him... well, there simply would be none.  For, if it were true that He harbored offense at my sometimes blatant, and sometimes not so blatant, sin against Him, or perhaps worse, my disregard or my practice of ignoring Him, then relationship with Him would be impossible.  I am impressed with the fact that insomuch as I cradle offenses against me, I am responsible for making relationship (or, at least, fellowship) a sure impossibility.

It causes me to see my need to cry out to Father, all the more.  For it is an impossibility, of my own strength, to merely let go of the offenses.  And, it is my own sin that attempts to self preserve... or to not allow Papa to be my Defender.  For, everywhere that I can not trust Him is only evidence that I do not fully know Him.  It does seem that all sin is born out of either self-interest or self-preservation.  Whichever the case, you see who is clearly at the center: Self.

So, the holding onto offenses, no matter how small or large they be, really is detrimental to me.  It simply serves me not.  And, it is a sign of personal transformation to be able to release another from an offense.  My self does not want to let go.

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Father, You know that I have asked that You target, with laser point precision, the hurts that I have nursed as though they were my children.  The ones that cause me to push far away.  As I see and understand the depth of Your love for me, I experience deep inner healing from those very hurts.  Thank you that You have seen each and every one and have hurt along with me, and not without greatest of empathy.